Singing is a Way to Access Joy πΆ
"Don't worry that it's not good enough for anyone else to hear. Just sing."
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At a recent family gathering, the children devised a game to determine who could sing the most annoying song. It began with βNever Gonna Give You Upβ and morphed into βItβs Raining Tacos.β Attempts by the adults to ignore, and then shush gave way to resignation. One by one we added our voices to theirs. By the time we got to βSupercalifragilisticexpialidociousβ everyone was singing aloud. By the final um-dittle-ittl-um-dittle-I we were beside ourselves with laughter.Β
That afternoon, the adults were reminded of what the children already knew. Singing is a way to access joy. It can transform a mood, evoke a range of emotion and provide cathartic release. Itβs why audiences sing in unison during a concert and sports fans sing in support of their team. We employ song in celebration, before battle, to offer comfort and to declare our love. Collective singing provides cover in the same way singing alone in the shower banishes inhibition. Giving in to song, for the sake of singing, even if (especially if?) no one else can hear it, feels good.Β
My familyβs sing-a-long reminded me of a moment in early motherhood. Those first nights at home with my newborn found me worrying, of all things, that my singing voice wasnβt good enough to soothe my son. Itβs not honeyed like Sadeβs. I lack Ellaβs perfect pitch. I rocked and held him but I was in awe of everything about him, including his beautiful, brand-new-to-the-world ears and I didnβt want to ruin anything with my singing.
I do not remember the moment I decided to let all that go, but I am certain memories of how I felt while listening to my mother sing to my brother and me emboldened me to sing aloud to my own child. I wanted my son to know that feeling too.
Once I allowed myself to sing, I realized that almost anything can become a lullaby. Iβve already admitted to singing tracks from the Pixar movie βCarsβ to lull my children to sleep but romantic songs can (and have) been adjusted to accommodate little ones too.Β
Take for example the stalwart that is βYou Are My Sunshine.β A review of the full lyrics reveal a lengthy country song full of heartbreak and sorrow that ends with an ominous threat:
You told me once, dear, you really loved me
And nothing else could come between
But now you've left me for another
And you shattered all of my dreams
I'll always love you and make you happy
If you only say the same
But if you leave me for another
You'll regret it all some day π³
The single, βAdore,β from Princeβs βSign Oβ the Timesβ is far from G-rated but I regularly sang the first few verses alongside βBrahms Lullabyβ for years.Β (Everything after those opening lines is grown folks business. Donβt say I didnβt warn you.)
Until the end of time
I'll be there for you
You own my heart and mind
I truly adore you
If God one day struck me blind
Your beauty I'll still see
Love is too weak to define
Just what you mean to me
Iβve been a parent for nearly two decades and Iβve yet to stop singing with my children. An enduring favorite is the made for βSesame Streetβ song, βSing.β We especially like the lalalalalalalalalalala part and can never get through it without laughing. Its message guides me to this day:Β
Sing
Sing a song
Sing out loud, sing out strong
Donβt worry that itβs not good enough for anyone else to hear
Just sing
Sing a song
So maybe skip the scenario where half a dozen children belt out βBaby Sharkβ and βThe π¦ Songβ before attempting a live-action rickroll at your next family gathering, but do find your way to singing. Sing to yourself, your plants, your true love, or no one in particular. Just sing.
A Few Things:
This lullaby guts me. every. single. time.Β
Kristin Wongβs essay, βWhat Lullabies Teach Us About Language.β She writes, βLullabies, it seems, are a way of telling your children that you love them before they understand the words I love you. In that way, lullabies are like a language of their own.β
That first verse of βIβm Glad You Cameβ by the Wanted is something you might croon to a newborn. It reads like a poetic birth announcement. The rest of the song isβ¦π€·πΎββοΈ.
If I had a voice like hers this entire essay would be moot.Β
Tell Me:
Do you ever sing aloud?Β Exclusively in the shower? In a chorus? Absolutely never, ever, ever? Letβs talk about it in the comments. ποΈ
I love to sing - even though Iβm terrible, it still brings me so much joy! I loved playing PlayStation games - SingStar initially, and then Rockband (greater range of songs). Usually with a lot of alcohol involved - and almost exclusively singing by myself. Now I donβt drink, so I find I donβt play these games as much. Might have to change that! Some of the songs make me cry when I sing - Janisβs Me and Bobby McGee; George Michaelβs Freedom. Others fill me with with a high - Blues Travelerβs Run Around, Bellyβs Feed The Tree, Save Ferisβs (ska? version) Come On Eileen, Lisa Loebβs Stay.
Iβve been enjoying the ability to work from home - I have a record player in my βofficeβ and like to plan what Iβm going to play during the day. Always tapping along and humming and singing. Probably a good thing that Iβm not back in the office with actual coworkers - happy at home with two non-judgemental pooches.
Singing is so important. In fact just tonight I had seven close friends who are helping navigate the grief of a wonderful friend who has just passed. I recommended we all go out to karaoke. Half were in β the rest were sick to their stomach by the thought of singing in front of other people. I convinced everyone to just come (some with liquid courage) but you know, EVERYONE had such a great time. Singing in honor of our friend β some 80βs favorites, some silly ones and a couple of sad ones. All important way to be together and celebrate our lost friend (who will always be with us β certainly in song)!