Though I am oceans apart from family and those I’ve loved longest, due to the pandemic, I have been afforded the opportunity to attend gatherings for births, adulthood rites, and death…online.
You don’t know me nor I you…but, I knew your grandmother…
Yours is a lovingly written ode to her. I met Mrs. Constance Carter when I was 14-years old through my (now) longtime friend, your aunt and Constance’s daughter Robin whom I met at John Dewey High School in Brooklyn.
You have so eloquently described Mrs. Carter as I clearly remember her. I have so many fond memories of Mrs. Carter, right thorough to the very last time we connected, which was on July 15, 2022 when I joined in her (virtual) birthday celebration. Even then she was smiling and humbled by those gathered in celebration to honor her…
Thank you for sharing a few of your cherished memories and allowing me to reflect upon how she touched me personally over the years. May she rest in eternal peace.
In writing this, you have created the space that you thought you missed. No greater tribute or Memorial than to remember and to say her name in the way you have done here. Thank you for this.
Your writing here is exquisite! I’ve lost all my grandparents and could relate to so much of what you wrote. Life’s ephemerality. The importance of mourning and ritual. And, of course, saying their names. Also, happy belated birthday!
I'm so sorry for your loss, I wish you were given the opportunity to celebrate your grandma's amazing life together with your family as it should be done... heartbreaking, really. Lots and lots of love to you!
Thank you Sinu! Thinking about your newsletter and the illustrated recipe book you're working on with a relative (and with the handwritten recipes in the book from the Sicilian chef in "From Scratch" on Netflix still in recent memory ) it occurs to me that I ought to do some food journaling about favorite dishes or things I learned to make from loved ones. My mother's father liked to cook and among other things used to make lemon (or maybe it was lime?) merengue pie and conch salad. My grandmother Connie (as we called her) had a Le Creuset set in her kitchen and I always, always wanted cast iron enamel because of that first exposure. I have two pieces now and I love them. Took me until just now to remember her's were the first I remember seeing.
You write so beautifully! That photograph of your grandmother is just so pretty. She seems like a very nice person! It ruins in the family!
So many loved ones lost recently. Makes us so grateful for our health and to have our close circle happy and healthy. I am actually working very hard on being more present, to let go distractions and just be there… make it count!
I miss talking to you! Hope you are well and wishing you a belated happy birthday! Hope this year will bring you as much happiness as the one you share! Xxoo
Google photos just popped up with a memory series of photos from the day you shared (and introduced our family) to poutine! That you took the time to make sure it was vegetarian for us was so so kind and generous! (Those two words are apt descriptors for you!) And poutine is so yum!!!! I appreciate the many food gifts you shared with me from the miso and peppers and hot sauce to the maple syrup to poutine and everything in between! Thank you my friend.
I am sorry for the losses you have weathered recently and hope you find comfort in their memories. Your resolution to be more present and make it count is one I am striving for too. I miss talking with you as well Catherine! And next time I see you I have a bottle of umeshu for you! Let's talk soon!
This was a beautifully important piece. Something we’ve all had to face. Something in life we’ve all been touched by....and are left to figure out how to ‘be’ with the loss of people in our lives. I thank my parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles and friends that have left for all their efforts, love, grace and persistence.....and whose lives were and whose memories of, will always be a part of my life
Happy belated birthday and please accept my condolences. You truly have a writing gift (among your many talents). Thank you for reflecting on this universal theme and helping me see from another perspective. Kathleen, Kevin, Ricky, Izzy, Patrick, Sally, Rudy, Paul
This was written with such sensitivity. I have so many people who come to mind, and such stories to tell, but for now I will simply say: Lou, Anita, Howard, Frances, Michael, Howie - I have so many memories. I’ll add Rosie to the list. And I thank you, Zakia, for your beautiful writing.
Along with the songs and music that you write, I do hope one day you consider writing a book to share and tell all the stories you have. I am forever grateful to have been in your classroom all those years ago. I learned so much in 6-301 and in our correspondence over the years. Beyond the academics, you teach your students empathy, humor, and compassion. Further, you demonstrate that it is possible to consistently show up as your best self, for yourself and others, and do the right thing. You will always, always have my gratitude and admiration. Thank you.
Thank You for sharing your thoughts ZM, Last year I lost my Paternal Grandma as well, while I wasn’t too emotional, I miss her a lot these days and wished I spent more time learning my language so I could communicate with her. I sadly couldn’t attend her funeral due to being at school as well as the political situation in my country but still I wish I was able to say goodbye to her one last time. Growing up I never known my grandpas as both of them died before I was born, so I only knew my Grandmas, while I was more close with my maternal grandma as she was the one who took care of me a lot when my dad was busy, I still have good memories of my paternal grandma like the one time she and my uncle took care of me when I was sick. One of the things I wish I could ask them was what was it like for them living during many important events that were happening in the world like World War II, what was it like when our country was a colony under the British, and what were their experiences during the Independence war that made my country.
I am sorry for your loss Fahim, similarly I was closer to my maternal grandmother, though she died many years ago. I too wish I could go back and have more conversations with them about their lives and the politics and circumstances that shaped their day-to-day. I remember interviewing grandmother for some school assignment about McCarthyism in the US. I feel like that recording is on a cassette tape somewhere I wonder if I can unearth it... I am certain I would understand so much more now. It also makes me more mindful to ask those questions with the folks that are still here. Thank you for sharing the memory of your time with her (and your uncle too!)
Dear ZM,
You don’t know me nor I you…but, I knew your grandmother…
Yours is a lovingly written ode to her. I met Mrs. Constance Carter when I was 14-years old through my (now) longtime friend, your aunt and Constance’s daughter Robin whom I met at John Dewey High School in Brooklyn.
You have so eloquently described Mrs. Carter as I clearly remember her. I have so many fond memories of Mrs. Carter, right thorough to the very last time we connected, which was on July 15, 2022 when I joined in her (virtual) birthday celebration. Even then she was smiling and humbled by those gathered in celebration to honor her…
Thank you for sharing a few of your cherished memories and allowing me to reflect upon how she touched me personally over the years. May she rest in eternal peace.
Dr. Janet Leslie
Staten Island, NY
What a beautiful piece. May your family and friends rest in peace and thank you for sharing this 💖💖💖
Thank you Genevieve 😊
Oh my, I am so touched. Thank you for remembering me in such a positive light.
Eloquently exquisite.
In writing this, you have created the space that you thought you missed. No greater tribute or Memorial than to remember and to say her name in the way you have done here. Thank you for this.
Leo ,Jessie ,Nana ,Papa , Grace ,Nick Mama ...
Thank you Gary ❤️ and I am glad I had the chance to meet Leo and Jessie and Mama.
Your writing here is exquisite! I’ve lost all my grandparents and could relate to so much of what you wrote. Life’s ephemerality. The importance of mourning and ritual. And, of course, saying their names. Also, happy belated birthday!
Thank you for the birthday wishes Jillian! And especially for the writing compliment - it means a lot coming from another writer :-)
I'm so sorry for your loss, I wish you were given the opportunity to celebrate your grandma's amazing life together with your family as it should be done... heartbreaking, really. Lots and lots of love to you!
Thank you Sinu! Thinking about your newsletter and the illustrated recipe book you're working on with a relative (and with the handwritten recipes in the book from the Sicilian chef in "From Scratch" on Netflix still in recent memory ) it occurs to me that I ought to do some food journaling about favorite dishes or things I learned to make from loved ones. My mother's father liked to cook and among other things used to make lemon (or maybe it was lime?) merengue pie and conch salad. My grandmother Connie (as we called her) had a Le Creuset set in her kitchen and I always, always wanted cast iron enamel because of that first exposure. I have two pieces now and I love them. Took me until just now to remember her's were the first I remember seeing.
🌹
You write so beautifully! That photograph of your grandmother is just so pretty. She seems like a very nice person! It ruins in the family!
So many loved ones lost recently. Makes us so grateful for our health and to have our close circle happy and healthy. I am actually working very hard on being more present, to let go distractions and just be there… make it count!
I miss talking to you! Hope you are well and wishing you a belated happy birthday! Hope this year will bring you as much happiness as the one you share! Xxoo
Google photos just popped up with a memory series of photos from the day you shared (and introduced our family) to poutine! That you took the time to make sure it was vegetarian for us was so so kind and generous! (Those two words are apt descriptors for you!) And poutine is so yum!!!! I appreciate the many food gifts you shared with me from the miso and peppers and hot sauce to the maple syrup to poutine and everything in between! Thank you my friend.
I am sorry for the losses you have weathered recently and hope you find comfort in their memories. Your resolution to be more present and make it count is one I am striving for too. I miss talking with you as well Catherine! And next time I see you I have a bottle of umeshu for you! Let's talk soon!
Awww! You are so sweet! So happy our roads encountered in Tokyo. So many smiles and good souvenirs. I really hope to see you again soon. Take care xox
This was a beautifully important piece. Something we’ve all had to face. Something in life we’ve all been touched by....and are left to figure out how to ‘be’ with the loss of people in our lives. I thank my parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles and friends that have left for all their efforts, love, grace and persistence.....and whose lives were and whose memories of, will always be a part of my life
And you will always be a part of mine. I love you mom ❤️
Happy belated birthday and please accept my condolences. You truly have a writing gift (among your many talents). Thank you for reflecting on this universal theme and helping me see from another perspective. Kathleen, Kevin, Ricky, Izzy, Patrick, Sally, Rudy, Paul
Thank you for sharing their names with me Veronica. And thank you for the birthday wishes and friendship.
This was written with such sensitivity. I have so many people who come to mind, and such stories to tell, but for now I will simply say: Lou, Anita, Howard, Frances, Michael, Howie - I have so many memories. I’ll add Rosie to the list. And I thank you, Zakia, for your beautiful writing.
Along with the songs and music that you write, I do hope one day you consider writing a book to share and tell all the stories you have. I am forever grateful to have been in your classroom all those years ago. I learned so much in 6-301 and in our correspondence over the years. Beyond the academics, you teach your students empathy, humor, and compassion. Further, you demonstrate that it is possible to consistently show up as your best self, for yourself and others, and do the right thing. You will always, always have my gratitude and admiration. Thank you.
Gladys, Grace,Mert,Martha, ❤️
❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️
Thank You for sharing your thoughts ZM, Last year I lost my Paternal Grandma as well, while I wasn’t too emotional, I miss her a lot these days and wished I spent more time learning my language so I could communicate with her. I sadly couldn’t attend her funeral due to being at school as well as the political situation in my country but still I wish I was able to say goodbye to her one last time. Growing up I never known my grandpas as both of them died before I was born, so I only knew my Grandmas, while I was more close with my maternal grandma as she was the one who took care of me a lot when my dad was busy, I still have good memories of my paternal grandma like the one time she and my uncle took care of me when I was sick. One of the things I wish I could ask them was what was it like for them living during many important events that were happening in the world like World War II, what was it like when our country was a colony under the British, and what were their experiences during the Independence war that made my country.
I am sorry for your loss Fahim, similarly I was closer to my maternal grandmother, though she died many years ago. I too wish I could go back and have more conversations with them about their lives and the politics and circumstances that shaped their day-to-day. I remember interviewing grandmother for some school assignment about McCarthyism in the US. I feel like that recording is on a cassette tape somewhere I wonder if I can unearth it... I am certain I would understand so much more now. It also makes me more mindful to ask those questions with the folks that are still here. Thank you for sharing the memory of your time with her (and your uncle too!)