I have decided to be proficient in spoken Japanese as well. I use Paul Noble's language series and I seem to be making progress. I took 8 years of Spanish in school and still have a beginner's level of proficiency. I can read it a little better than I can speak it. This time around I don't want to make the same mistake with Japanese. So I try and speak it with my Japanese friends as much as possible. Being a polyglot is a dream but it will take hard work and dedication. The fact that you are learning to write, read and speak in Japanese (Sugoi!) is definitely challenging but I believe in you!
Aww thanks Simone! I believe in us both! We can do it! 😁 I don't know that Paul Noble series. I will look it up. I think definitely having friends to talk with makes a world of difference. Do you think you'll ever return to Spanish?
Oh yes. I still practice every now and then. It just got to be too much for me as I was learning Spanish, French and Japanese simultaneously. I was preparing for upcoming travels but for now my focus is Japanese. As a matter of fact I'll be back in your hood next month. 😉
i learned Spanish from 12 to 18 years old at school, then from 18 to 21 in uni, and then living in Spain for five months in 2007, and from 07 to 09. Excessive focus on writing for the first 9 years. I was a dedicated student, but in five months in Spain with a Chilean roommate i learned more than I had in 9 years of schooling. I developed fluency in Portuguese much faster, in less than a year, partially bc of similarity with Spanish, but noteworthily I had very little formal instruction and instead simply lived in Portugal and Brazil for 2.5 years. I've never written anything formal in Portuguese, responded to written prompts, etc.
Despite a potential for excessive focus on the written language, I do agree it's extremely frustrating as an adult to be unable to pick up a Japanese magazine or manga and understand it, read street signs or menus or to put Japanese subtitles on Japanese shows, which I found helpful while learning Portuguese, French, Italian, Spanish or even Russian, which despite a different alphabet, is at least still an ALPHABET.
I really do want to return to learning Spanish- it's such a useful language and yes, lends itself to learning others. More importantly tho, I want to go to Portugal, Brazil, Spain, Italy, Chile, etc etc. I only visited Spain once and would like to go back. If I could have one super power - it would be being multilingual!
A year ago I wrote about listening "in Japanese" here (https://occasionallyimpervious.substack.com/p/make-em-say-uhn) and it goes back to your original comment, we have listen (and be immersed) to make progress. Thanks for reading and commenting Nathanito :-)
Generally i say: listen first, speak second, read third and write last (if at all). This is how all humans learn their native language, no reason for it to be different in learning other languages.
I keep going more and more elementary. Initially I told myself I would try to read my favorite manga side by side with the english translation - and the first challenge was OMG the text is small lol (I'm old enough now that I have reading glasses), but I wasn't ready for that level of Nihongo. So early education and picture books for very small children in Japanese, even ring cards made for babies with just a single character on it and an accompanying illustration, have proven more my speed. And there is no shame in my game! I have found that learning to read has helped so much with the proper pronunciation. In the beginning I didn't plan to learn to read or write but now I'm determined to do it all! (help!)
As one who spoke English first in Central America, because my parents were from the English speaking Caribbean, I went through a sorting process in my brain. So, when I was out of the house, I spoke in Spanish, and spoke English at home. Not to mention, I have some French Caribbean roots, so there is some Creole mixed in there.
Then, I was made to attend a bilingual school which cemented both languages. As a result, having to come here, as a fourteen year old, I became very curious about other languages in high school. I had the privilege of going to a school that taught Latin; referred to as a "dead language"(like the Dead Sea Scrolls). Well, that dead language opened the door to other languages to learn or comprehend.
Therefore, I studied Latin and French in high school; then Portuguese in college. I was very tempted but I did not pursue Italian. I can understand a great deal of Italian, however.
Additionally, I am able breakdown many words in English because English is composed of many languages: German, French, Latin and perhaps others.
Somewhere along the way, I picked up some Greek. Not enough to have a conversation, but to again, figure out word meaning.
Then you have medical and legal terms, some of which, are not too difficult to figure out, either.
Fitting in... yes...yes...
So, there I was. Speaking Spanish fluently with an English surname; working as a Bilingual Teacher in the Public School System in NYC.
I was asked more than once, "Where did you get that name?
That question always gave me the creeps. It was as if to say that I had no right to be that way.
My brown skin placed me in one or two groups, then there were other characteristics to scrutinize, if one wished.
Among Latinos, my name was a problem. Among Blacks, I wasn't because I spoke Spanish. A real trick bag.
Well, I survived. I am still here and I've met so many people that wish they had learned another language.
In this multicultural, multi lingual world, one should learn more than one language where and if possible, just because.... one never knows, do one?
Experientia docet( Experience teaches). Latin
Paz y felicidad, a todos en 2,025( Peace and happiness to everyone in 2025.) Spanish.
And what does it say on some coins? E pluribus unum.(And all for one) Latin.
Thank you for sharing this with me Mama Nailah, I didn't know any of these stories! Please tell me you are working on a memoir!
One of the reasons I regret not speaking Spanish is the countless times in my life when people have approached me in a crowd to ask for directions in Spanish. To some, I look like I should speak the language and I always feel terrible that not only can I not speak Spanish but on top of that I can't help them not be lost. (I am massively directionally challenged but that's a topic for another time lol.)
One of things I enjoy about the few times I've spent in Europe is the ease with which people slip from one language to another. The netherlands is the only other place in the world where people presumed I spoke something other than English - though I can't say I have a strong desire to learn Dutch.
I took Latin in middle school and really struggled with it, but there are so many subjects that I would actually like to revisit as an adult - and I would appreciate Latin now, in a different way than when I was a child. Theses days the two Latin phrases are 1: Non Satis, Non Scire which means "To know is not enough," (from my college alma mater) and Memento Mori, "remember that you must die" - it compels me to remember to really live.
Loved this piece! I applaud your bravery in stepping out into the world of a new language. Though hesitancy is there, that’s us wanting to meet our own expectations. It is hard for us not to be hard on ourselves. But, we know the deal, we have to fully commit or it won’t happen. One of the things I observed over many years as an artist teaching students from Pre-K to adult, was that students really wanted to execute really well the image of an idea that they held in their mind. Those that made a decision to jump in, whether it was clay, painting, printmaking (whatever it was, it was all new to them), they were going to try. They plunged right in. We looked at the work of various artists so they could see different ways that artists had worked with that medium or topic. I guided them through a creative process, exploring the materials or mediums to see how they worked; and understanding the value in exploring possibilities and their own ideas. Then they began the exploration of figuring it out. They were beginners. However, they had made a major decision, to begin, to really try this new thing.
Those that wouldn’t let themselves really do the preliminary work of exploration, understanding how the medium or materials worked or explore ideas, but wanted to jump right to completing exactly the image they saw in their mind of what their work should look like, often had a challenging experience. Not what they wanted. They didn’t let themselves begin as a beginner. Not until they actually did the preliminary work of exploring the medium, their ideas and imagination with no preconceived high bars to meet, did they begin to understand the joy of really creating something. Of learning something achieved through a creative process. They stepped over those high bars they set for themselves, if not really just erased them.
Young children love to learn, imagine and create. They are naturally motivated. The joy is in the doing for them. They usually learn languages easily. We, as we get older, begin to make lots of decisions about what we’re ’good’ at (based on so many random things) and try to avoid those things we feel we are not. Learning a new language is huge. But how huge, how daunting is going to be greatly affected by our ability to let ourselves learn it. Explore it, as beginners. Figure out the basics of how it works. Try it out. Be bad at it (as you realized) till we, ‘just get good’ as your son said. The learning, as in art or really anything, is in the doing. Using it, saying it and conversing with people….it will definitely take some time. Please applaud the fact that you have begun. Stay positive. You are in the process of creating something new in your life. I really so very much applaud you on this journey! Loudly I applaud!
Your comments are always so thoughtful and easily worthy of their own stand-alone thought pieces! I think your observation is absolutely correct that somewhere along the way, we lose the ability to make "mistakes" -or rather we have framed the natural process of learning as "a series of mistakes" until we "get it right" and mistakes are bad. And it seems that the age at which we decided that "mistakes" are unacceptable is increasingly younger. We can become so paralyzed by fear of making a mistake, looking bad, being wrong, that we cannot explore and cannot create and eventually master whatever it is we are learning to do. And then it takes a mighty mind shift to regain that which we knew as a child, and which is innate to all human beings - making mistakes is how we learn.
Some of us are lucky and never lose the love of learning, imagination and creativity. Others, like myself, have to be reminded of this again and again. Hmmm, then again, maybe it's more that there are areas of my life where I am comfortable making mistakes to learn and explore as an artist does - because though I don't practice the visual arts as much as I used to/want to/can do - I consider myself an artist and know (but don't always practice) being a beginner, being "bad" and making mistakes in that arena. You taught me that. But there are other places in my life where I am more self-conscious. I guess my takeaway from this whole lessons is to apply the idea of learning as if a child, as a beginner is how I want to approach more things in my life- I believe it will only make it richer. And hopefully I'll get a second language and some new artwork for my walls out of it lol. Love you mom ❤️
I speak Spanish fluently and definitely do not take it for granted! I thank the language Gods that I was spoken to in both English and Spanish. Since it's a Romance language, it has similar words to Italian, French, and Portuguese, which has helped me roughly understand those languages. I commend you for not giving up and continuing even when it feels like nothing is getting absorbed. Learning anything after the age of 30 seems like a steep climb up Everest! I'm rooting for you! 応援していますよ- Ōen shite imasu yo!😊❤️✨ (Courtesy of Google translate lol)
Natalie, I swear as soon as I lock down Japanese I am going back to trying to learn and speak Spanish! The way I am loving all things Bad Bunny right now is making this more urgent than not. 😁 I listen to a lot more Spanish music (well a lot for someone who doesn't speak Spanish) and I enjoy what I take away from it but I want to experience it more fully for myself! And yes, shout out to Google Translate!
Born in Japan and speaking almost exclusively in English for the last 30 years, I feel as though I am not 'good enough' in either language. Funny enough though, I am definitely more comfortable speaking in English than Japanese these days. My original thinking was this is simply because of the time I spent speaking in English vs Japanese - but now I am thinking there is another layer. Culturally speaking, being audacious is accepted in American culture. I think some of us are rewarded for it even. Making mistakes, though no one likes it nor encouraged in a real sense, it does not feel as 'fatal' as it would feel within Japanese culture. The layer of '恥はじ’I feel speaking in Japanese can even said to be ancestral, lol. I am bringing shame down to my family because I cannot speak my native tongue well enough!! Obviously this is also related to my comfort in being a 'second language speaker' in English and my expectation of being a 'native speaker' in Japanese, too. So layered!!
Over the new year holidays, my aunt asked me how long it took for me to speak English after I left Japan. I had to think about it for a bit, as there are so many levels of 'speaking English'. So I shared, I could get by in a few years, but to truly to have conversations and friendship based on mutual understandings, I remember it was somewhere between 5-10 years (as you estimated, lol). In the US, or in the coastal US city like NYC where I lived, to be a grown-up is also to have opinions, and to be able to discuss subjects like politics, religion as well as cultural and current events. They are filled with uncommon terminologies and complex concepts - and to have opinions (meaningful ones at least) we must understand them, think about how we relate to them to develop opinions, THEN have to vocalize it. Definitely not done overnight.
So I am sending you the vibe of audacity to embrace your 'second language speaker' self - and OF COURSE, you are not supposed to be good anyways at least for about 5-10 years!
Thank you Aki- the vibe of audacity - I'm definitely embracing that energy. I never thought about the layer of pressure you described. It speaks to just how much culture is built into how we communicate. And it seems true that context is everything. Everything from gender and age, to something as seemingly innocuous as current weather conditions and a host of other immutable (and mutable) things, inform how and what we communicate.
I think a lot about belonging - and where home is - and more and more I come back to belonging everywhere and nowhere at the same time. And that home for me has to be within me. And you are right, there are so many levels of speaking a language. I think it will be years before I can really think/relate/and develop opinions in a language other than my native one. I'm always encouraged by others such as yourself who have done what to me seems impossible.
Also, I cannot wait till you get started on your book Aki!
This is exactly the reminder and push I needed to get back into my Spanish practice. Similar to your classmate’s observation, I am better at written expression and comprehension. Not this year, I say! I’ll be getting uncomfortable with you on the other side of the world.
I'm rooting for you Stacy! And I do want to get back to the Spanish language again. I remember reading somewhere that there are some similarities in pronunciation between the two languages. And I believe it's true! The vowel sounds are the same/or similar and some of the consonants and sentence flow too I think- and randomly the word "pan" is bread in both languages. Spanish is such a useful and practical language. Good luck to you!!!
This is so true about learning a language, even one that is not as challenging as Japanese! I studied Spanish in 4 years in secondary school and then 5 years at university, and I still felt uncomfortable speaking with native speakers. As you know, I taught Spanish and French in public schools. I went to Argentina for a month and my friend there (also one of my teachers) dumped me in a cafe with the following instructions: "I want you to go to the "quiosco" (newsstand) and purchase a newspaper and cigarettes; then order a coffee at the cafe. I'll see you in an hour." This was the push I needed to started being "bad" in Spanish. Later, I lived in Seville for a year which helped with my fluency. But honestly, I'll never be a native speaker, and that's okay. Now I am working as a Nurse Practitioner, where I communicate in Spanish most of the day; am I perfect? Absolutely not. Do my patients understand me and vice-versa? Yes! Communication is negotiation. My patients compliment my sloppy Spanish all the time (and sometimes, they correct me!). It's about getting your message across and being understood. Be proud of your efforts and think of engaging with Japanese as honoring that culture by trying to understand it. Much love!
Heyyyyy Veronica! It's so good to hear from you! As it always is! Your friend in Argentina did you the biggest kindness! I have to remind myself that coffee shops really are the best point of entry - there is a script to follow but with just enough variance that you'll be just fine and the possibility of having a casual one or two word/or sentence exchange with the barista or a fellow customer is very high and the stakes are very low. I also love how you framed it : Communication is negotiation. This is absolutely true - and I do believe that many are more than willing to meet us where we are when we are clearly making an effort to try communicate in their language - except maybe the French lol.
Oh my goodness it sounds so incredibly hard and I’m impressed at where you’re at, how far you’ve come! As a fellow monolingual and language struggler, I commend you deeply and genuinely. Like for REAL. Kids’ minds are way more elastic than ours and some just find it easier to “do” language than others. I have a friend living in Japan who told me a little about how complicated the language learning is, and like you said, there are so many levels of challenge. At any rate I will say I love reading you in English, so hang in there and know that in your birth language, you absolutely flourish. xo
Your last line made me smile from ear to ear! Thank you Dana! Compliments on my writing from another writer just hits different and in the best way :-) And it's true, kids brains are built for this! I keep telling myself that learning something as challenging as a new language for me is exercise for my brain. As we grow older, it's as important as strength training and cardio. So now that you have two friends in Japan - when are you coming through?
I have decided to be proficient in spoken Japanese as well. I use Paul Noble's language series and I seem to be making progress. I took 8 years of Spanish in school and still have a beginner's level of proficiency. I can read it a little better than I can speak it. This time around I don't want to make the same mistake with Japanese. So I try and speak it with my Japanese friends as much as possible. Being a polyglot is a dream but it will take hard work and dedication. The fact that you are learning to write, read and speak in Japanese (Sugoi!) is definitely challenging but I believe in you!
Aww thanks Simone! I believe in us both! We can do it! 😁 I don't know that Paul Noble series. I will look it up. I think definitely having friends to talk with makes a world of difference. Do you think you'll ever return to Spanish?
Oh yes. I still practice every now and then. It just got to be too much for me as I was learning Spanish, French and Japanese simultaneously. I was preparing for upcoming travels but for now my focus is Japanese. As a matter of fact I'll be back in your hood next month. 😉
Agreed, Nathanito. Listening is key. That's how babies learn.
meant to say and 2 years from 2009 to 2011 in Spain.
i learned Spanish from 12 to 18 years old at school, then from 18 to 21 in uni, and then living in Spain for five months in 2007, and from 07 to 09. Excessive focus on writing for the first 9 years. I was a dedicated student, but in five months in Spain with a Chilean roommate i learned more than I had in 9 years of schooling. I developed fluency in Portuguese much faster, in less than a year, partially bc of similarity with Spanish, but noteworthily I had very little formal instruction and instead simply lived in Portugal and Brazil for 2.5 years. I've never written anything formal in Portuguese, responded to written prompts, etc.
Despite a potential for excessive focus on the written language, I do agree it's extremely frustrating as an adult to be unable to pick up a Japanese magazine or manga and understand it, read street signs or menus or to put Japanese subtitles on Japanese shows, which I found helpful while learning Portuguese, French, Italian, Spanish or even Russian, which despite a different alphabet, is at least still an ALPHABET.
I really do want to return to learning Spanish- it's such a useful language and yes, lends itself to learning others. More importantly tho, I want to go to Portugal, Brazil, Spain, Italy, Chile, etc etc. I only visited Spain once and would like to go back. If I could have one super power - it would be being multilingual!
A year ago I wrote about listening "in Japanese" here (https://occasionallyimpervious.substack.com/p/make-em-say-uhn) and it goes back to your original comment, we have listen (and be immersed) to make progress. Thanks for reading and commenting Nathanito :-)
Generally i say: listen first, speak second, read third and write last (if at all). This is how all humans learn their native language, no reason for it to be different in learning other languages.
And yes omg japanese alphabet(s) are a giant FML
I keep going more and more elementary. Initially I told myself I would try to read my favorite manga side by side with the english translation - and the first challenge was OMG the text is small lol (I'm old enough now that I have reading glasses), but I wasn't ready for that level of Nihongo. So early education and picture books for very small children in Japanese, even ring cards made for babies with just a single character on it and an accompanying illustration, have proven more my speed. And there is no shame in my game! I have found that learning to read has helped so much with the proper pronunciation. In the beginning I didn't plan to learn to read or write but now I'm determined to do it all! (help!)
Brave is right! I like what you're doing.
As one who spoke English first in Central America, because my parents were from the English speaking Caribbean, I went through a sorting process in my brain. So, when I was out of the house, I spoke in Spanish, and spoke English at home. Not to mention, I have some French Caribbean roots, so there is some Creole mixed in there.
Then, I was made to attend a bilingual school which cemented both languages. As a result, having to come here, as a fourteen year old, I became very curious about other languages in high school. I had the privilege of going to a school that taught Latin; referred to as a "dead language"(like the Dead Sea Scrolls). Well, that dead language opened the door to other languages to learn or comprehend.
Therefore, I studied Latin and French in high school; then Portuguese in college. I was very tempted but I did not pursue Italian. I can understand a great deal of Italian, however.
Additionally, I am able breakdown many words in English because English is composed of many languages: German, French, Latin and perhaps others.
Somewhere along the way, I picked up some Greek. Not enough to have a conversation, but to again, figure out word meaning.
Then you have medical and legal terms, some of which, are not too difficult to figure out, either.
Fitting in... yes...yes...
So, there I was. Speaking Spanish fluently with an English surname; working as a Bilingual Teacher in the Public School System in NYC.
I was asked more than once, "Where did you get that name?
That question always gave me the creeps. It was as if to say that I had no right to be that way.
My brown skin placed me in one or two groups, then there were other characteristics to scrutinize, if one wished.
Among Latinos, my name was a problem. Among Blacks, I wasn't because I spoke Spanish. A real trick bag.
Well, I survived. I am still here and I've met so many people that wish they had learned another language.
In this multicultural, multi lingual world, one should learn more than one language where and if possible, just because.... one never knows, do one?
Experientia docet( Experience teaches). Latin
Paz y felicidad, a todos en 2,025( Peace and happiness to everyone in 2025.) Spanish.
And what does it say on some coins? E pluribus unum.(And all for one) Latin.
Au revoir! ( Until next time.) French.
Thank you for sharing this with me Mama Nailah, I didn't know any of these stories! Please tell me you are working on a memoir!
One of the reasons I regret not speaking Spanish is the countless times in my life when people have approached me in a crowd to ask for directions in Spanish. To some, I look like I should speak the language and I always feel terrible that not only can I not speak Spanish but on top of that I can't help them not be lost. (I am massively directionally challenged but that's a topic for another time lol.)
One of things I enjoy about the few times I've spent in Europe is the ease with which people slip from one language to another. The netherlands is the only other place in the world where people presumed I spoke something other than English - though I can't say I have a strong desire to learn Dutch.
I took Latin in middle school and really struggled with it, but there are so many subjects that I would actually like to revisit as an adult - and I would appreciate Latin now, in a different way than when I was a child. Theses days the two Latin phrases are 1: Non Satis, Non Scire which means "To know is not enough," (from my college alma mater) and Memento Mori, "remember that you must die" - it compels me to remember to really live.
I'm so glad you're here! Thank you ❤️
*Meant to say the two Latin phrases I try to I live by
Loved this piece! I applaud your bravery in stepping out into the world of a new language. Though hesitancy is there, that’s us wanting to meet our own expectations. It is hard for us not to be hard on ourselves. But, we know the deal, we have to fully commit or it won’t happen. One of the things I observed over many years as an artist teaching students from Pre-K to adult, was that students really wanted to execute really well the image of an idea that they held in their mind. Those that made a decision to jump in, whether it was clay, painting, printmaking (whatever it was, it was all new to them), they were going to try. They plunged right in. We looked at the work of various artists so they could see different ways that artists had worked with that medium or topic. I guided them through a creative process, exploring the materials or mediums to see how they worked; and understanding the value in exploring possibilities and their own ideas. Then they began the exploration of figuring it out. They were beginners. However, they had made a major decision, to begin, to really try this new thing.
Those that wouldn’t let themselves really do the preliminary work of exploration, understanding how the medium or materials worked or explore ideas, but wanted to jump right to completing exactly the image they saw in their mind of what their work should look like, often had a challenging experience. Not what they wanted. They didn’t let themselves begin as a beginner. Not until they actually did the preliminary work of exploring the medium, their ideas and imagination with no preconceived high bars to meet, did they begin to understand the joy of really creating something. Of learning something achieved through a creative process. They stepped over those high bars they set for themselves, if not really just erased them.
Young children love to learn, imagine and create. They are naturally motivated. The joy is in the doing for them. They usually learn languages easily. We, as we get older, begin to make lots of decisions about what we’re ’good’ at (based on so many random things) and try to avoid those things we feel we are not. Learning a new language is huge. But how huge, how daunting is going to be greatly affected by our ability to let ourselves learn it. Explore it, as beginners. Figure out the basics of how it works. Try it out. Be bad at it (as you realized) till we, ‘just get good’ as your son said. The learning, as in art or really anything, is in the doing. Using it, saying it and conversing with people….it will definitely take some time. Please applaud the fact that you have begun. Stay positive. You are in the process of creating something new in your life. I really so very much applaud you on this journey! Loudly I applaud!
Your comments are always so thoughtful and easily worthy of their own stand-alone thought pieces! I think your observation is absolutely correct that somewhere along the way, we lose the ability to make "mistakes" -or rather we have framed the natural process of learning as "a series of mistakes" until we "get it right" and mistakes are bad. And it seems that the age at which we decided that "mistakes" are unacceptable is increasingly younger. We can become so paralyzed by fear of making a mistake, looking bad, being wrong, that we cannot explore and cannot create and eventually master whatever it is we are learning to do. And then it takes a mighty mind shift to regain that which we knew as a child, and which is innate to all human beings - making mistakes is how we learn.
Some of us are lucky and never lose the love of learning, imagination and creativity. Others, like myself, have to be reminded of this again and again. Hmmm, then again, maybe it's more that there are areas of my life where I am comfortable making mistakes to learn and explore as an artist does - because though I don't practice the visual arts as much as I used to/want to/can do - I consider myself an artist and know (but don't always practice) being a beginner, being "bad" and making mistakes in that arena. You taught me that. But there are other places in my life where I am more self-conscious. I guess my takeaway from this whole lessons is to apply the idea of learning as if a child, as a beginner is how I want to approach more things in my life- I believe it will only make it richer. And hopefully I'll get a second language and some new artwork for my walls out of it lol. Love you mom ❤️
I speak Spanish fluently and definitely do not take it for granted! I thank the language Gods that I was spoken to in both English and Spanish. Since it's a Romance language, it has similar words to Italian, French, and Portuguese, which has helped me roughly understand those languages. I commend you for not giving up and continuing even when it feels like nothing is getting absorbed. Learning anything after the age of 30 seems like a steep climb up Everest! I'm rooting for you! 応援していますよ- Ōen shite imasu yo!😊❤️✨ (Courtesy of Google translate lol)
Natalie, I swear as soon as I lock down Japanese I am going back to trying to learn and speak Spanish! The way I am loving all things Bad Bunny right now is making this more urgent than not. 😁 I listen to a lot more Spanish music (well a lot for someone who doesn't speak Spanish) and I enjoy what I take away from it but I want to experience it more fully for myself! And yes, shout out to Google Translate!
Born in Japan and speaking almost exclusively in English for the last 30 years, I feel as though I am not 'good enough' in either language. Funny enough though, I am definitely more comfortable speaking in English than Japanese these days. My original thinking was this is simply because of the time I spent speaking in English vs Japanese - but now I am thinking there is another layer. Culturally speaking, being audacious is accepted in American culture. I think some of us are rewarded for it even. Making mistakes, though no one likes it nor encouraged in a real sense, it does not feel as 'fatal' as it would feel within Japanese culture. The layer of '恥はじ’I feel speaking in Japanese can even said to be ancestral, lol. I am bringing shame down to my family because I cannot speak my native tongue well enough!! Obviously this is also related to my comfort in being a 'second language speaker' in English and my expectation of being a 'native speaker' in Japanese, too. So layered!!
Over the new year holidays, my aunt asked me how long it took for me to speak English after I left Japan. I had to think about it for a bit, as there are so many levels of 'speaking English'. So I shared, I could get by in a few years, but to truly to have conversations and friendship based on mutual understandings, I remember it was somewhere between 5-10 years (as you estimated, lol). In the US, or in the coastal US city like NYC where I lived, to be a grown-up is also to have opinions, and to be able to discuss subjects like politics, religion as well as cultural and current events. They are filled with uncommon terminologies and complex concepts - and to have opinions (meaningful ones at least) we must understand them, think about how we relate to them to develop opinions, THEN have to vocalize it. Definitely not done overnight.
So I am sending you the vibe of audacity to embrace your 'second language speaker' self - and OF COURSE, you are not supposed to be good anyways at least for about 5-10 years!
Thank you Aki- the vibe of audacity - I'm definitely embracing that energy. I never thought about the layer of pressure you described. It speaks to just how much culture is built into how we communicate. And it seems true that context is everything. Everything from gender and age, to something as seemingly innocuous as current weather conditions and a host of other immutable (and mutable) things, inform how and what we communicate.
I think a lot about belonging - and where home is - and more and more I come back to belonging everywhere and nowhere at the same time. And that home for me has to be within me. And you are right, there are so many levels of speaking a language. I think it will be years before I can really think/relate/and develop opinions in a language other than my native one. I'm always encouraged by others such as yourself who have done what to me seems impossible.
Also, I cannot wait till you get started on your book Aki!
This is exactly the reminder and push I needed to get back into my Spanish practice. Similar to your classmate’s observation, I am better at written expression and comprehension. Not this year, I say! I’ll be getting uncomfortable with you on the other side of the world.
I'm rooting for you Stacy! And I do want to get back to the Spanish language again. I remember reading somewhere that there are some similarities in pronunciation between the two languages. And I believe it's true! The vowel sounds are the same/or similar and some of the consonants and sentence flow too I think- and randomly the word "pan" is bread in both languages. Spanish is such a useful and practical language. Good luck to you!!!
This is so true about learning a language, even one that is not as challenging as Japanese! I studied Spanish in 4 years in secondary school and then 5 years at university, and I still felt uncomfortable speaking with native speakers. As you know, I taught Spanish and French in public schools. I went to Argentina for a month and my friend there (also one of my teachers) dumped me in a cafe with the following instructions: "I want you to go to the "quiosco" (newsstand) and purchase a newspaper and cigarettes; then order a coffee at the cafe. I'll see you in an hour." This was the push I needed to started being "bad" in Spanish. Later, I lived in Seville for a year which helped with my fluency. But honestly, I'll never be a native speaker, and that's okay. Now I am working as a Nurse Practitioner, where I communicate in Spanish most of the day; am I perfect? Absolutely not. Do my patients understand me and vice-versa? Yes! Communication is negotiation. My patients compliment my sloppy Spanish all the time (and sometimes, they correct me!). It's about getting your message across and being understood. Be proud of your efforts and think of engaging with Japanese as honoring that culture by trying to understand it. Much love!
Heyyyyy Veronica! It's so good to hear from you! As it always is! Your friend in Argentina did you the biggest kindness! I have to remind myself that coffee shops really are the best point of entry - there is a script to follow but with just enough variance that you'll be just fine and the possibility of having a casual one or two word/or sentence exchange with the barista or a fellow customer is very high and the stakes are very low. I also love how you framed it : Communication is negotiation. This is absolutely true - and I do believe that many are more than willing to meet us where we are when we are clearly making an effort to try communicate in their language - except maybe the French lol.
Oh my goodness it sounds so incredibly hard and I’m impressed at where you’re at, how far you’ve come! As a fellow monolingual and language struggler, I commend you deeply and genuinely. Like for REAL. Kids’ minds are way more elastic than ours and some just find it easier to “do” language than others. I have a friend living in Japan who told me a little about how complicated the language learning is, and like you said, there are so many levels of challenge. At any rate I will say I love reading you in English, so hang in there and know that in your birth language, you absolutely flourish. xo
Your last line made me smile from ear to ear! Thank you Dana! Compliments on my writing from another writer just hits different and in the best way :-) And it's true, kids brains are built for this! I keep telling myself that learning something as challenging as a new language for me is exercise for my brain. As we grow older, it's as important as strength training and cardio. So now that you have two friends in Japan - when are you coming through?